What my problem is

First of all I am such a nerd that I feel the need to start things off by saying that I am on L’amour the laptop in a coffeeshop. It’s kinda cool but also a little anti-climactic. I thought someone would be here with my cool club membership card by now, but no. Mostly it’s just the standard way too cool baristas. Because what would a coffeeshop experience be without the guy whose (whos, who’s?) septum is pierced and stretching his earlobes? He was super friendly though, so no hard feelings. I know I said I would do this a long time ago (update from a coffeeshop to be cool) but I’m not exactly here by choice. Our bathroom started disintegrating a couple days ago. I didn’t call the landlord right away because I always hate those phone calls but then I noticed the wall on the other side of the bathroom (our living room wall!) was totally moldy and wet. So I had no choice but to call and for some reason feel guilty for something that is not my fault or my responsibility. Turns out, the woman who lives above us had a leak in her shower and never noticed because it was behind the wall, I wouldn’t check there for leaks either so she’s forgiven. Plus, she is ultra quiet, is almost never home and says hi to me.

So why am I at a coffeeshop? Because it is loud and annoying at my place. They are basically replacing everything in the bathroom except the sink, which I guess only leaves the shower and the toilet. They also have to spray some anti mold business which I want no part of. Oh yeah, and I want to be able to use a bathroom if I need to. The thing I don’t get is why landlords always have to choose the creepiest person possible as the handyman. I think the ad for the job looked something like this, must look like a serial killer, bonus for strong smell of stale cigarettes.

Oh! Guess what? I got my first google and yahoo search hits. Seems someone got here by googling how to give an alcohol enema. Wow. I searched for the same thing and after I got to page 25 I stopped looking. I don’t know how far this person went to find me but jesus they were determined. From what I saw you should’t do it. I think that’s all you need to know, ok searcher? Just don’t do it. And someone also got here by yahooing (just doesn’t flow the same as googling) Sarah Brown The Millionizer. I think they got the idea to do that from here. I just want to make it clear that that quote is from Sarah Brown, look in my blogroll, she’s there. I am not Sarah Brown, The Millionizer. I am not Sarah Brown nor is she The Millionizer. What I wish it said was, Quote from Sarah Brown, submitted by The Millionizer. But when I submitted it I didn’t really foresee a problem. Ok, now that I’ve explained myself.

Last night I had a mini epiphany. Well epiphany may be too strong of a word. Every once in a while something will click and I just have a better understanding of something totally banal in my life. Like last night I was thinking of requirements and what requirements are, please don’t ask me why. And I realized that a requirement is only a requirement if there is a consequence for not following it. Say your job requires you to always wear your name tag but if you’re caught not wearing it and nothing happens it’s more of a request than a requirement. I know, not very impressive but it’s just cool when something that you think you are very familiar with suddenly has another dimension. There is so much more I could say about requirements, social contructs and boundaries but I’ll save it for my community college philosophy class.

I thought of something else I thought was cool but I assured myself I would remember it so I didn’t write it down. I guess we all know how that story ends. Maybe it will come to me tonight. But that’s unlikely since tonight’s pool night.

Technorati Tags: landlord, Sarah Brown, UrbanDictionary