Archive for September, 2006

In San Diego

Sep 13 2006 Published by under A day in the life

This post almost didn’t happen because my mom’s internet is so o o s l o w. I’m in San Diego for a day until I leave tomorrow at 6:30 IN THE MORNING.

I’m excited to see an old friend tonight for happy hour. Hi A! I was looking in my old dresser and found a journal that we kept together in high school. The first entry was written on 2/1/1998. I was 14. I now hate my 14 year old self. Here is an exact excerpt of something I wrote.

“I have a real problem. I mean Brent is sitting right next to me. He keeps talking to me but I can’t look him in the eye. Wow I’ve never noticed that but it’s true I can’t make eye contact. Help me K? I need to be nicer to people too. Well no I don’t but whatever.”

Where’s all my punctuation? What was I talking about? Apparently I self diagnosed an ‘affection problem.’ I gathered that by reading a couple more pages. I don’t know what’s going on with me and Brent or why it’s even a problem that I can’t look him in the eye. The journal consists of us talking about who’s jealous of us, who is annoying and who is mad at us. Read: all the reasons we are superior beings. I especially like the last line. That hasn’t changed a whole lot, as friends will tell you.

I’ve been having fun doing errands and soaking up all my old Southern California-ness. I fit right in because I’m driving my mom’s SUV and I’m hot. Only one of those is arguable. I went to this bakery I always go to so I could pick up a couple truffles, like I do when I’m town. I asked the German owner lady for two and she said, only two? I thought, oh honey I could eat the whole tray but I hear diabetes sucks.

I’ve been watching a lot of TV today, something I don’t have in Santa Cruz. Here is the secret to daytime TV programming. From noon til one networks play judge shows (Judge Judy, Judge Mathis, Judge Maria (who the fuck is this?) judge judge judge). I watched Judge Maria, she is a fiesty Cuban immigrant and you can’t argue with that. From one till two it’s mostly talk shows with some soap operas. I watched Tyra. From two til three it’s a mix of soap operas, talk shows and informercials. I watched Montel, Sylvia Brown was on telling people who is haunting them. There’s no turning that off. It’s a good thing I don’t have TV normally, then I’d be a lot less interesting.

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Opinions before bedtime

Ok, so I’ve gotten most of the stuff on my list done. I just need to finish packing tomorrow when my delicates are dry. I finally talked to someone at work about my paycheck and they basically said, Well we can add it on to your next paycheck. They made it seem like it was no big deal since the difference was “so little.” I’m thinking, I hate you, you stupid cockface, do you know how far that $20 will go in Mexico? Far. I paid my bills which makes me want to scream FUUUUUUUCK! I’ve had a tension headache all day even after a hefty dose of herbal remedy. Which also makes me want to scream FUUUUUCK!

Do the posts and various parts of the site seem to be haphazardly italicized for you? If so, sorry but I have no clue how to fix it. If not, nevermind.

This is where I actually stop bitching about how I am leaving and all the shit I have to do before I leave my beach town cocoon. The following is something I have been thinking about for a week or so and I just haven’t made time for it. I try to keep rants to a minimum, ha! yeah right. But seriously, I really try to keep an open mind and not let a lot of things bother me, but I felt I really wanted to say something, even if just for myself.

Lately, TBU has been playing his new video game Saints Row. Let me preface this (further) by saying I am fairly open minded and tolerant. Wanna give/get a blowjob in the park? Fine. Wanna do crack? Go ahead, it’s all your business. But when people are no longer treated with respect, that’s where my tolerance ends. And that’s the issue I take with Saints Row and it’s predecessor, Grand Theft Auto, for their portrayal and general treatment of women. I won’t go into detail, because I don’t want to sit here and think of all the ways it pissed me off. I will tell you that it is competely unnecessary and hard to overlook. Some people will argue that it’s just a game. And they are right. But you have to realize what a huge amount of planning goes into game development. It’s astounding to me that people (undoubtedly with penises) sat in a boardroom and decided that, yes, the point of this mission will be to steal hoes from other pimps in order to build your own pimp empire. Oh yeah, and we’ll never refer to a woman as a woman, only bitch, ho, and pussy. Oh! and every woman in the game will be objectified somehow. These supposedly sane people discussed and agreed that this was ok! It’s unbelievable. If it went both ways I could deal, but it’s a game where men control women with sex and violence and the women have little form of defense. People have to realize that every detail on a project of this scope is painstakingly deliberate.

TBU tried to tell me it was a joke, a sort of social commentary. Of course that’s total bullshit. If it is a joke, what sort of commentary is that on our society when it encourages and promotes misogyny? It’s not a joke and the only commentary is subtextual. These games are carefully designed and marketed to maximize the profit margins of the companies involved. These games appeal to the lowest common denominator and it’s sad that treating people (hello! women ARE people) like this is so widely accepted and further glorified by our entertainment venues.

Saints Row and Grand Theft Auto are a type of video game called ‘sandbox’ or ‘open world’ where the player is free to roam around and do whatever they want. I asked TBU why he plays these particular games and he said that the storyline aside, they offer what he calls a solid game experience. Meaning that the game itself, the way it is played and designed to be played is a solid, satisfying experience. I asked TBU why those games in particular and he said that he likes the format. Why not put all that money and development and awesome game play towards a game that doesn’t totally degrade %51 of the population? Oh right, those pesky profits. Nobody would buy it if it weren’t totally sexist.

The most damaging part of this is that some people don’t see anything wrong with Saints Row or GTA. To them, this is acceptable, normal even, and these games only reinforce that way of thinking. I can accept that others, like TBU, are completely aware of the situation. They continue to purchase and play these games because there really is no competition in sandbox category of gaming. There are other games in this format such as True Crime and Simpsons Hit & Run but I have been told that they are cheap rip-offs of the original. Why fund such an endeavor if no one will buy it? Since it costs millions of dollars to produce a game of this magnitude, companies have a monopoly on the types of games that are released. No one wants to buy a crappy game so they buy developmentally superior yet sexist games like Saints Row and GTA. Then statistics show that this is the type of game people want to see and they continue to be produced. The cycle continues. I could go on and on.

[tags]Saints Row, Grand Theft Auto, video games, gaming, sexist, misogyny, rant, pissed off[/tags]

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To do list before I leave in less than 2 days

Sep 10 2006 Published by under A day in the life

Tahoe was fun. I came back $133 richer. And that’s all you need to know.

Really though, I have so much shit to do. I don’t do things ahead of time. Then I would be bored with nothing to do in the right before time.

1. Start packing: passport, clean out luggage, wash clothes, camera

2. Do rebate for L’amour (the laptop!)

3. Recharge batteries

4. Pay Amex bill

5. Pay Comcast bill

6. Pay SBC bill

7. Pay Verizon

8. Deposit $

9. Fill out timecard

10. Call payroll (they paid me $1.50 less per hour than they should have. Fuckers!)

I made this list more than three days ago and so far the only thing I’ve done on it is deposit some cash. Jesus, did you see how many bills I have to pay? They probably total $200. They will be the last thing I take care of.

UPDATE: Ok, so I plugged in the batteries and I filled out the timecard. I also left a message for payroll. I managed to throw my passport and birth control at my suitcase, but I wouldn’t say I actually started packing. So all in all I got 3.5 things done, I wouldn’t cross of calling payroll until I talk to someone.

The Holy Hell I’m leaving soon Millionizer

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