Stuck between the ocean and the mountains
I feel like Halloween is already over. I did all my celebrating Saturday night. Then I see people walking around in capes and corsets and I’m reminded that I still have 2 more days of all this superflousness. (Oh admit it, you like my run-on sentences.)We’re invited to a couple’s thingy tomorrow involving scary movies and various forms of rice krispy treats. No thanks. We’re also invited to a party one of TBU’s friends is having. This girl. I am definitely! not in to that lest I get hugged to death. What an ironic way to die on Halloween eh? Death by vicious hugging this Halloween (that’s that headline).
It’s cold today. I don’t like it. All last week it was 80 degrees by 10:30am. So this morning I grabbed my sweatshirt on the way out and it’s just not enough. One thing that works as discipline with my student is taking a lap around the track. And today she is being a little asshole but I really don’t want to go outside. I guess I’ll just punch her.
Sometimes, I really wish I had a desk type job so I could type these things up throughout the day. I write it out and it just looks like I am some goth kid writing (badly) about my dark dark feelings or something equally lame. But then again the last 2 jobs I had were desk jobs and I am less of a human because of them. I can’t help but think that if I had themillionizer.com back then it wouldn’t have been so bad. I would be getting paid a lot more if I still had either of those cushy (yeah right) desk jobs. As many amusing anecdotes as they would’ve provided for us here I’m 100% sure I’m better off now. Well 98%.
I am having a quarter life crisis. I have no clue what I want to do with myself. Everyone says, Do what you love. If there is a bigger pile of bullshit on life management advice I haven’t heard it. That may work for oh let’s say Paris Hilton who already has billions at her disposal. She’ll be perfectly fine if she wants to get drunk every night and tape herself having sex. I, on the other hand, don’t have that luxury. I haven’t figured out how I want to/can earn a living (a real living, one that allows you to, you know, LIVE). I want to earn my MBA, but then what? I want to sleep til 10 every day and be showered by rose petals while I shower. That won’t pay my bills. I spend most of the time freaking out about money and how much of it I don’t have. I have a fucking college degree but I can’t get health insurance. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ll never figure anything out. It can’t always be like this but I don’t know how to change it. I’m stuck. Did you ever feel this way? How did you figure it out?
The Millionizer is ready for a midnight nap
EVERY effing DAY OF MY LIFE…
Oh, yeah. You fake it.
Two years ago, when I was using my JOURNALISM DEGREE working as a JOURNALIST at a series of newspapers that barely paid me above minimum wage, I felt exactly the same as you do now.
I’m happy to tell you, though, I’ve found the solution. Marry a rich engineer and let him whisk you off to Korea.
But really, 2007 is our last year here and I’m already paralyzed with fear at the thought of having to get a real job again and what the hell am I going to do with my life and when (I’m 26 now) will I ever really grow up and feel like an adult.
Not working for the past 1.5 years has been pretty nice but at the same time I have this overwhelming feeling that I’m sitting on the couch all day watching Korea soap operas and by the time we get home I’ll have nothing to show for it.
Except a black belt in tae kwon do.