Remember TBU’s new car? The one he doesn’t even have a license plate for yet? The one I described as sexy and delicious all over? or whatever.

We went to pick up the dishwasher last night. It was bad from the start. The customer pick up area is down rape alley. Where is the most awkward and dimly lit place we can have people pick up outrageously priced equipment? Oh right, we have that rape ally out back, nice.

The guy comes out with the box and it’s huge. Much more huge (huger?) than I remember the whole deal being. There is no way that thing is fitting in the car. It’s dark and it’s raining and the Sears guy has a look on his face like, Why are you poseur hipsters even wasting my time with your puny Civic? Meanwhile, the guy who came 5 minutes after us is already gone because his dishwasher fit fine in his fucking 3 story behemoth. This is where I cry and see the stockpile of dishes crust to every possible surface. I thought I would never have to wash another load again. So young. So stupid. I cursed Honda and their fuel efficient design. Fuuuuuuck!

Again. Another unsuccessful night where we leave with a reciept but no life altering technology.

TBU reassured me we would just borrow someone’s car and get it tomorrow. That means today. I want to be excited but my heart can’t suffer another trauma.

**UPDATE: Hey look! At least I know I’m right. We did NOT get the dishwasher tonight. TBU asked a friend if we could borrow her car but she is busy with her daughter’s recent eye surgery and all. She just doesn’t know what it’s like because she already has a dishwasher. But tomorrow night, I really think that might be it.

I did one more (last?) load last night. The steam frizzed my hair. I picked food off plates with my fingernails. I pulled bits of slime out of the drain. And after lunch the sink was full again. Awesome. Fucking awesome.

[tags]Despair, Civic, Honda, Boo Hoo[/tags]

Sunday morning I woke up, walked to the kitchen and started screaming about all the dishes in the sink. There were no bowls to eat cereal! Every useful dish we own was in the sink. TBU said we should get a portable dishwasher then laughed. I yelled for him to get on the internet tubes and see if portable dishwashers actually exist.

They do!

So off to Sears we went. We were thinking about the $300 one. But then the sales guy said, Oh that one’s got a tower. What’s a tower? The tower is just old technology. TBU’s responded with, We don’t like old technology. So we took one that came out to $560 or so. I’m talking about this because it comes today. It was pretty anti-climactic to leave Sears with a $560 reciept and nothing else. I still had to wash the sinkful of dishes that made me freak out. But today TODAY we get the dishwasher. Good thing. The sink is in danger of collapsing under the weight of everything I have since refused to wash. Things have slipped onto all the counters and even the stove. TBU cooked dinner last night and didn’t even bother taking the pans off the burners. Because the dishwasher comes TO-DAY!

I fully expect this machine to change my life. I estimate I’ll save at least 2 hours every week. That’s 2 extra hours a week for a new hobby or more (MORE, MORE) getting lost in the internet. Maybe I’ll even start an Etsy account and make some extra cash. The dishwasher is the start of a new era. I can feel it.

[tags]Portable dishwasher, Etsy, Sears, fucking awesome[/tags]