A couple of friends have been trying to convince TBU and I to move in with them when their current roommate moves out. We have been trying to make them understand what a terrible idea that is. I am a terrible roommate. Freshman year my roommate hated me so much she moved out. I turned her closet into a wine jug cellar. But I digress. I don’t take responsibility for the situation but I will admit I could have gone about things differently. Namely, when I grew tired of her I didn’t have divide the room with a huge Indian inspired, purple wall hang. You know the ones that signify ‘college dorm room.’ I didn’t have to leave her a note not to talk to me. And when we both had to sign the paper stating the condition of the room when she moved out I didn’t have to sign it Fuck You. Just take my word for it, you don’t want to live with me. I don’t even know what TBU is doing here.
But our friends won’t give up and Saturday night TBU was trying to explain the situation to them but could only come up with, She’s unfriendly. I laughed so hard I made him stop because I couldn’t catch my breath. Then I told them TBU would leave broken glass on the floor and let them bleed to death. Seriously though, I like having friends so let’s not be roommates. That goes for all of you.
I slammed my hand in the car door whilst completely sober. Now I have a ridiculous bruise that looks like it has a corresponding police report on file. And as if that weren’t awesome enough I burnt my middle finger on the same hand. It hurt so bad I cried.
I hate it when:
1) I am liking how smooth the plastic pen feels in my mouth and suddenly realize I borrowed it from that really gross person.
2) People put their whole mouth over their water bottle. It’s a drink, not a blow job. Two people I’ve noticed who do this are my retarded student and Elaine from Seinfeld.