Oh Anna Banana

Anna was like the crazy tragic friend I never had but always wanted.* You know she would take you to Vegas just to have a friend with her. I would have had all the drugs I could possibly consume and access to a crazy lawyer if need be. It could have been great. Ah well.

*You know how in poker they say if you can’t spot the sucker you’re the sucker? Yeah.

Costa Rica? Indeed. There’s one picture, in particular, I want to share but it’s on a different computer and I just do not feel like dealing with it. Soon, soon. No, I did not get to hold a monkey. I am not sad though. I saw a ton of them and they made me very happy. There were monkeys in the trees on the way to the restaurant. There were monkeys while horseback riding. There were monkeys above the pool. There were monkeys to feed on hikes. I got my fill of monkeys. They are so adorable OH OH! There were BABY monkeys! Baby monkeys so small that, if I were to hold them, would have fit in the palm of my hand. So cute. They rode casually on their mothers’ backs while she flew from branch to branch and hung them both from her tail. And they have sweet, curious little eyes. Sigh.

TBU and I have only seen 3 episodes but we’ve already had an American Idol party. It wasn’t planned but it happened. Wednesday night we were supposed to play pool at The Catalyst with TBU’s boss and his girlfriend. But were are unimaginably dorky so TBU called to say we’d be late because American Idol was on. And instead of just accepting this information TBU’s boss say’s, “Oh, we’ll come watch it with you.” Whaaaaaa? I was in my pajamas, TBU was cooking dinner, the house was a mess and it was 8:15. Idol starts at 9. These are people who earn into the high six figures and they want to watch American Idol on our Craigslist couch, in our one bedroom apartment, where the pipes could burst at any moment? I panicked, I don’t like being judged by people more successfuul at life than me. No, they’re not like that. But maybe in a tiny wayback part of their brain they are. And it was that tiny part I feared.

In the end, I was drunk by the time they got here. The house also looked fabulous. I can accomplish a lot in 45 minutes. Somehow, people going all out for their (never going to happen) dreams, makes for a really good time. Then we played pool.

Yesterday I came home and was greeted by a dead rat next to my car. It was minimally bloody but almost completely flat. The best(?) part was that his/her anus had exploded. But not in a gross, showy fashion. It kind of just expanded. Like a balloon. It was bizaare. I had to force myself to stop staring, for the rat’s sake. I certainly wouldn’t want anyone to stare at my exploded anus while I lay helpless. I couldn’t stop thinking about it though and I kept talking about it to TBU. I called it Exploded Anus Rat so many times I had to shorten it to EAR, which became Earl. Someone ran over it just the right way and Earl became gross to look at. By this morning he was gone completely. I wonder who took it upon themselves to take Earl away.

The Millionizer has more, but she’ll just save it for later

[tags]Costa Rica, monkeys, Anna Nichole Smith, American Idol [/tags]