Before I go to bed I tell myself what I want to dream about or what problem I want to solve. Last night I told myself to think of a way to make unlimited money. Instead, I dreamt that TBU asked a girl out in front of me while we shopped at Trader Joe’s. And then he cooked her dinner while I was in the living room. I felt very left out. Then my grandma came over and I told her to fuck off. I also refused to hug her dead husband. I would have done that in real life though. After all that drama, TBU and his date were nowhere to be found and he left his phone on the table. Bastard. Later, when I asked him where they were, he told me it was none of my business. I don’t know if the answer was in there somewhere, but I still don’t know how to make unlimited money.

People like this are what’s wrong with the world. Them and their offspring. Fucking mindless tards. The only reason I’m even sharing is so we can all snicker at, I like to start with a worship CD to get my praise juices flowing.

I like to read stuff like this to get my beat down juices flowing.

I’m back in the Santa C and all up in yo face.

1. I was getting ready for Neighborhood Night and made a mess of my eye makeup. It somehow escaped the boundaries of proper eye makeup application. I was going for a simple look. Back eyeliner, black shadow with a bright blue highlight. Something was wrong with the blue. I whined to TBU and he reminded me that if anyone could fix a makeup crisis, it was me. And then I remembered, when in doubt, more black eyeliner. It just does’t fail.

2. I finally found a sunscreen form I can get down with. Stick! Sunscreen sticks are awesome! Not the purple and blue ones from the Hammer pants era. Just regular sunscreen in stick form. Amazing, just swoosh swoosh and there you go. No messy hands, no sprays melting your lungs, just flawless skin because you can apply sunscreen whenever you need without the hassle.

3. I want to go to Europe with A this summer. But I need an extra $5000. How can I legally and safely do that? I’ve already heard (every variation of) the prostitution and stripper jokes, so don’t waste your time. Seriously, what can I do? She has her ticket for August. So I have like three months. Crap, I just realized I only have 3 months. Let’s make it happen, internet! I promise I’ll bring you back pictures of ridiculous European stuff.

The Millionizer has asked the universe for and extra $5000. What have you done today?