One monkey don’t stop the show

TBU and I participated in an all day, multiple location wine tasting extravaganza today. It’s like a pub crawl except they up the ante because you have to drive to your next location. And there are something like 16 seperate locations. There are so many in fact that this thing is a two day event. We’ll be just as drunk tomorrow. So it’s kinda like a russian roulette pub crawl for shmoozy racist white people where, of course, TBU and I fit in brilliantly. We drank from 11am until 5pm. Then we came home had two more glasses of wine, made some sweet lovin and went to a friends house for dinner. We told the friends we’d be there at 7 but didn’t actually show up until 815 because of all the sex. And in classic form we forgot the beer we were supposed to bring. So TBU and his friend drove back to our place to get the beer “because it’s already paid for.” Yada yada yada, we had dinner, old hip hop moves were busted out, general good times were had.

Then we got home and what pink, circumsized and veiny (no less!) little monster is just standing there on the kitchen counter with it’s perma boner?!?! Yeah my vibrator. I’ll tell you what it was doing on the kitchen counter if you’ll just calm down for one fucking second. The bathroom sink is out of soap so I had to clean the little guy with the soap from the kitchen sink. And we were in such a hurry to leave I let him dry on the counter. Hey man, first of all, it was clean and second I own bleach and general counter cleaning skills, so there shouldn’t be any problem.

We got home and I screached, “Did MATT see this???” TBU thinks no, but if you walk into our house you’re almost in the kitchen and a shiny pink dick is bound to catch your eye.

The Millionizer has had a few too many.