Go big or go home

I’m telling you this now because I was too tired, drunk or lazy to mention anything earlier. Sir Chinko was all up in my grill last weekend for my birthday. You already knew that. But what you didn’t know was (is?) how amazing we are. Wait maybe you did know that.

Sunday morning we natch woke up dehydrated and cottonmouthed, stumbled for a bit and went to breakfest downtown. It’s a fest! On the way there we saw a couple crazies. Nothing out of the ordinary, I mean this is Santa Cruz. We got closer to our destination and it was very clearly a gathering of some sort but we couldn’t figure it out. It was excessive at this point. Our breakfast was waiting in their midst, we waded through, confused but not alarmed. We were loving the utter surreality (that’s a word right?) of craziness going on; there was no focus, people in crazy ass costumes were milling around, just drinking coffee from their mugs. Sir Chinko and I were like, Niiiiiice. I sudddenly didn’t feel so self conscious about my ridiculously oversized sunglasses. (heeeyuge)

Oh hey, I get it! It’s the gay pride parade!! I don’t have a reasonable explanation as to why, but Sir Chinko and I were over fucking joyed. We yelped like little girls. The parade hadn’t started yet, they were trying to organize. I say try because who can think of organization when there is a tan, shiny, and muscly man wearing a feather headdress and speedos? We went to breakfest and on our way out the parade started. I have never had such a lucky parade viewing position. The dykes on bikes rolled through and Sir Chinko said, she has her kid with her! Aww. To which I replied, That was my housing director. I don’t know why, but that moment was awesome for me. Next came Cheer SF. Sir Chinko even gave me a dollar to give them as they cheered by. Holla!

I fucking love gay pride parades. I used to go with my mom in San Diego all the time. That’s how my mom rolls. I mean, she’s not gay, just supportive. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Obvs.

Below is Sir Chinkos yelp review of the parade. I’m sharing this because it’s all about me and I like that. Towards the middle it gets kinda preachy about equal rights and some shit but stick it out till the end cuz there’s more of me there.

One of my best friends in life is Baby G from the Santa C (aka The Millionizer). We’ve known each other since high school when we were both awkward, adolescent, and half naked. We met on the swim team (yes, I was on Varsity Swim, and yes, I was pretty good, and yes, I weighed probably half as much as I do now in high school – damn beer!). We’ve known each other so long, in fact, that she’s already decided what she’s going to say at my wedding. “When I first met Ed, he was wearing a Speedo. And now today, he’s wearing a tuxedo.” We also love rhyming unnecessarily. In any case, we are probably one of the picture perfect examples of a straight guy and a straight girl who don’t have any sexual or relationship tension and who work together perfectly well as friends. I mean, hello, I pretty much know, if you’ve seen me naked, wet, and breathing heavily, and you still don’t want ALL A DIS, well, that’s just something you’ll have to work out for yourself because I AM ALL ASIAN FROM THE WAIST DOWN, LADIES.

Anyways, I was down to visit Baby G aka The Millionizer to surprise her on her 24th year of not dying. To give you an idea of what Baby G aka The Millionizer’s aesthetic is all about, when I came back from Europe a couple years ago, I was complaining about my high tolerance of alcohol. “I hate tolerance!” is what I said, to which she exclaimed “Yeah, I hate being nice to people too!” That’s just how The Millionizer rolls.

So we hit up Hoffman’s Bakery in Downtown Santa Cruz for breakfast (my review on that later), not aware that as we are sitting, THE SANTA CRUZ LGBT PRIDE FESTIVAL is occuring around us. I, as a proud resident of the City and County of San Francisco, SQUEAL like a newborn babe (did I also say I’m straight?) and we both scurry to the very front of the parade to watch the goings on.

Santa Cruz is a very famously liberal beach town and hence, it makes sense that there is a sizeable population of LGBT in the region, considering its proximity to the Bay Area. The Pride Parade strives to promote visibility and increase feelings of self-esteem while providing a common ground for exchanging information, building community and having fun by celebrating the positive contributions, sexuality, cultures, families, accomplishments, individuality and on-going struggle for civil rights in the LGBT community.

And it starts off with the traditional Dykes on Bikes march, as probably 20 to 25 woman with their children, family, friends, partners, etc roar down tiny Pacific Avenue in the heart of Downtown Santa Cruz to a relatively small but very enthusiastic crowd. Next comes CHEER SF, the country’s longest running LGBT-identified (and SF-based) cheerleading team.

I’d heard other side conversations going on, including “Yeah, this parade is *so* much better than the one in San Francisco.”

SF’s parade may lack the intimate charm and may now be a tool of corporate sponsorship’s recognition of the purchasing power of DINK LGBTs, but it is still a parade celebrating the pride of the LGBT community with and international attendance in the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS.

Santa Cruz’s parade, however, is much smaller and more intimate and localized, but just as spirited and gives you hope that one day, there *can* be LGBT parades in town centers which aren’t necessarily international bastions of liberalism.

So Baby G aka The Millionizer and I clapped and cheered and fished out dollars to donate and generally enjoyed the spectacle of the Santa Cruz Pride Parade. And I thought to myself – isn’t so awesome that a gay guy and a gay girl can be such great friends for such a long time and celebrate the diversity of other’s sexualities without any sexual tension of our own?

OH! I mean, a gay guy and a straight girl be such great friends for such a long time without any sexual tension?

OH! I mean… a straight guy…

DAMN FREUD.

Well, at least *I* know. For all y’all others, I’m perfectly content with keeping you guessing.

Sir Chinko didn’t even talk to me the first year we were on the swim team together. He was always in lane one while I spent most of my time in the last lane with A, where we tried not to strangle ourselves with the lane lines. That was even if we showed up for practice. I was a dorky little person who said hi to him just to be flagrantly ignored. My how the tables have turned. In fact, I don’t even know how we eventually became friends. I think it was our mutual hate of jesus, babies and southern california in general. Oh yeah and our shared viewpoint that life is all about spectacle. Like how we blasted Wilson Philips’ Hold On at maximum volume and sang like the rockstars we are in our head. That’s not some random high school memory, that was last weekend. No, I’m totally serious. MAXIMUM VOLUME.

The Millionizer and Sir Chinko OWN IT

[tags]Santa Cruz, LGBT, gay pride, pride parade, San Francisco pride parade, Santa Cruz pride parade, fuck yes, go big or go homo[/tags]