It’s 1995 and I love it

TBU has been taking the laptop to work for some supposed work related shit. I have to sneak in moments before dinner and while he’s passed out on the couch. This leaves no time for posting because before I can post I have to read all of the internet to make sure I’m caught up on the days non-news.

Have you heard the good word? No Doubt is baaack and I just peed my pants. Woot! Goddamn, Gwens solo shit sucked my left nut. Wind it up! No sweetie, I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but I refuse to partake. No amount of booze and/or mushrooms could make this worth my time. But your hair still looks hot, that’s all that really matters. One time, in the golden age, Sir Chinko ran into Gwen in France on the Champs E’lyse and ran up to her all intrusive like and was like YOU’RE GWEN STEFANI. MY FRIEND THE MILLIONIZER LOVES YOU. And her response was, You’re from America! We concluded that was an insult, as it should be. That night he called me with the most cryptic message. He was in France I was in 12th grade, I had no clue what was going on. Sir Chinko and I also call each other from concerts and force the other person to listen to the noise. That’s love.

You know what’s so lame? When you’re new at work and someone says, Oh you can just go get it from my mailbox. So you go to their mailbox and start looking around and someone else sees you and asks all suspiciously, Can I help you? You say, No, because you’re a rocket scientist and you don’t need help. But the other person comes over anyway and forces you to tell them what you’re looking for and takes over looking and you just stand there like an idiot while they hand you the item all self righteously, like they just saved the company from the awful new employee. I mean fuck, didn’t I just say I didn’t need help? Meddling bitch.

The Millionizer likes to sleep in her makeup so she can wake up looking hot

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