no sex no drugs no rock and roll

Did you know the nazi regime was about to obliterate Paris and the only reason they didn’t was because some general refused to? Man, the shit NPR will teach you.

I have a bunch of things to post but I am drunk and lazy. Let’s just see where this takes us, k?

The cashier at Trader Joe’s downtown totally wants my business. TBU and I were there together and Mr. Joe was all up in my grill making his boner obvious. Later, I was all like, That dude was all over my nuts. And TBU was all like, He was being weird, is that what that was?

I’m not going to pretend that this post was a continuous process. I just got back from googling images of Brandon Flowers. Damn, Brandon why you gotta be so sexy and mormon? Making me feel all weird and shit. At’s ok, we can still hook up maybe once a week. The hearts already taken but the lovin’s still sweet. It’s up to you, boo.

You know how they always give the Olsen twins shit for having a terrible sense of style? I dunno but if I were a rich elf I would totally dress like that. I love over sized sunglasses. I love ridiculous layers and ridiculousness in general. Oh wait, maybe I’m an elf. Maybe I’m rich. Lemme go check. Maybe I’m homeless. It’s all up in the air right now.

I don’t think TBU reads this anymore so I feel safe in saying that when he leaves the bathroom sink wet I use his towel to clean it up. There. It makes a little bit of the anger go away.

They’re closing the bar and they want us to leave. The Millionizer is all woohoo and woohoo-ooo.

God it’s taken me like an hour do to this. If nothing else, I am determined.

[tags]Brandon Flowers, Olsen twins, Trader Joes wants my body[/tags]

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Fishnets and malice

Is there nothing better than a bed made with freshly cleaned linens? No there is not. I am so excited, I’m going to sleep pantsless. Or as X would say, peeantsless.

P-Ninny was in town this weekend. He’s a Jew and keeps kosher, which makes going out for food all but impossible. That’s why we went out for drinks. There is no fathomable reason as to why there is no kosher establishment in this city. Sunday morning all cotton mouthed and buzzy, the only thing I could offer him was a balance bar. And boy was he excited.

Remember when I got my license renewed and there was a terrible picture/experience involved? I got my new license a while ago but I’ve been using my expired license cuz the picture is way better. Well I’ve gone and lost my new license so now I only have my old expired one. At first, no one noticed. Then a couple weeks ago bouncers started to mention it. They’ve all let me in so far but tonight the bouncer gave me a whole lecture and basically told me I was going to get arrested if I got pulled over. I was like, Hey buddy, no worries ok? My license is current according to the DMV, I just don’t have it. Plus I’ve never been pulled over because I rule at life. So I’m not really worried, but thanks. He let me in because I seem like a nice person. But not before making sure the other bouncer looked at it with a warning not to let me back in. I seriously only had a glass of water in there. Was it worth the hassle? Not really.

Back to Saturday night. TBU and I decided the Blue Lagoon is our bar. They’ve got two dance floors and bartenders. Normally, I don’t like bars because I am short and get trampled. My feet have bled from stilettos. But after 3 years of legal drinking I finally settled on a spot. We high fived our new place. Ten minutes later a brawl broke out next to us on the dance floor and we high fived again.

While we were waiting for P-Ninny to smoke his fag outside the Red Room some dude handed us a joint. It didn’t really make sense but we were ok with that. And there we were, it was like we were at home but we were standing on the street.

Oh yeah! and you know what I re-realized? That Rockers Pizza is a blessing from the late night pizza gods. Oh my crap is that good. The crust is thin but fluffy but crunchy. The cashiers are cool enough to be cool but too cool to care. Plus it’s made for drunk. All you have to do is walk up to a window on the street, exchange money for goods and then you walk to the next bar with your delicious pizza. Santa Cruz has really been missing an excellent pizza place since MCP got run out of town by pizza my heart crap. God that place blows. If you live anywhere near here you’ve seen their shirts, but don’t be fooled. Do yourself a favor and get a better, bigger slice at Rockers Pizza.

These are the notes I wrote for this post immediately after the bars on Saturday night/Sunday morning:

tbu and i decided after 3 years that the blue lagoon. 2 seconds after high fivign to this a fight broke out next to us. it was awesome and disconcerting.

rozkers pizza fucking amazing. next weekend i will have one.

im short, out of peoples eyes ight. given a jizzle by someone outside of the red room. you guys can have that. uher ok.

The Millionizer stays classy

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The so-called “Gay Pride” parade took place on July 21, 2007 in San Diego

So there is this article Brittanie sent my way about the absolute horror that is the annual San Diego Gay Pride Parade. I’ve been to this pride parade several times starting when I was 9 or 10 always accompanied by my mom and close family friends. It has always been fun and celebratory, something I looked forward to. And I was never the only or the youngest child in the crowd. My point is this is a family event. Sure, when large crowds gather there are going to be a couple douchebags. I guess I was just taught how to deal with it, or maybe I’m just not narrow minded enough to let it bother me. I dunno, but this article irritates me.

It refers to a lawsuit 4 San Diego firemen filed against the city because they were ordered to participate in the Gay Pride Parade and had to endure gross sexual harassment or some shit. I agree with them on the grounds that they shouldn’t have been forced to take part in something they object to. I wouldn’t want to take part in a conservative AngloChristianTheLiberalsAreSignalingArmegeddon rally either. To each his or her hermaphroditic own really. But fucking give me a break. A lawsuit wasn’t necessary, a formal complaint and some media coverage maybe, but this is just bullshit, especially on the grounds of sexual harassment.

Here are some quotes from the article.

“During the course of the ensuing three hour long ordeal, the firefighters were subjected to vile sexual taunts from homosexuals lining the parade route. This included the following statements: “show me your hose,” “you can put out my fire,” “you’re making me hot,” “give me mouth-to-mouth,” “you look hungry, why don’t you have a twinkie (from a man wearing a “Girth and Mirth” t-shirt),” and “blow my hose.” These firemen are devoted husbands and fathers.”

  • First off, how do you know all the culprits were the gay? I bet you don’t, I bet that’s just your ass talking. If I were there I probably would have jokingly said a few words too, and I’m not gay.
  • Those “vile sexual taunts” you speak of are harmless. This is where I say so the fuck what and tell you to have a goddamn sense of humor. It’s not like those homos were taunting you with raping your 14 year old son. They were admiring you! Feel good dipshits!
  • And how about the guy who dared to offer you a twinkie while having the audacity to wear a Girth and Mirth shirt? Would it have been sexual harassment if he was wearing a W ‘04 shirt? Didn’t think so.
  • Wait, what? These firemen are devoted husbands AND fathers? Oh. My. God. Wait a second, what does that have to do with anything? Except that many of the people in attendance and in support of the gay community also fit the description.
  • And how does being a husband and father make alleged sexual harassment any worse? That is so fucking patriarchal, attempting to co-opt victimhood on the basis of marriage and fatherhood. The very things that signify patriarchy. You are some crafty fellows.

“The firefighters were subjected to the most vulgar kinds of sexual harassment. To quote one of the firefighters: ‘You could not even look at the crowd without getting some type of sexual gesture.’”

  • Really? The most vulgar kinds of sexual harassment? Rilly? Because as you’ve admitted, they were not physically touched during this “ordeal.” I can think of a billion much worse sexual harassment scenarios.
  • So you look out in the crowd and perceived one giant sexual gesture. Bummer. People are allowed to make sexual gestures, kiss their lovers and have a good time. Get over yourselves. You are the reason I don’t live in the pimple that is San Diego anymore. Good riddance you say. But when the whole fucking city becomes as narrow minded and fearful as you are, watch out.

“This event panders to the most base elements of what is advertised as ‘America’s Finest City’. Even the homosexual community should be outraged and ashamed of the sexual harassment these firemen were forced to endure.”

  • The most base elements. That’s just offensive. Homosexuality is not a base element of human nature. Homosexuals do participate in base elements of human nature, but so do heterosexuals.
  • EVEN the homosexual community should be outraged and ashamed. As though they are so crude and incapable of seeing right from wrong that most things they should be outraged about fly right over their heads. But this perceived sexual attack on four loving husbands and fathers, this THIS they should recognize as unacceptable.

“The firefighters were also targets of gross sexual gestures to include the following: exposure of genitals, blowing kisses, grabbing of the crotch, rubbing of nipples, tongue gestures, men hugging and kissing one another passionately, many of them wearing make-up and dressed like women. Although the firefighters were not physically assaulted, the gestures were clearly directed towards them.”

  • Exposure of the genitals? I bet you could’ve done without that. But are you telling me, in all honesty, that someone actually blew kisses at you? My word, what is the world coming to?
  • As for grabbing of the crotch, rubbing of nipples and tongue gestures this shit is all over TV. Where’s your lawsuit against Viacom?
  • Can you explain to me how men hugging and kissing each other passionately is sexual harassment? Because that one just blows my mind. What if I don’t want to see you and your jesus freak wife making out? Can I sue you for sexual harassment? No? Why not? Exactly.
  • I see you didn’t have a problem with the lesbians making out. Figures.
  • Many of them were wearing makeup and dressed like women huh? Yeah, I can see how that really puts you in a position of powerlessness. Some of them probably were women. Did you think of that? Oh yeah and SO WHAT?
  • So you say you WERE NOT physically assaulted? Then why are we here? If the gestures were clearly directed at you, prove it you whiny bitches.

“This is another example of how radical homosexual activists in positions of authority force their agenda on unwilling citizens.”

  • Are you effing kidding me? What about the radical fundamentalist evangelicals who push their agenda on unwilling citizens? You know, the ones that hold office and um I don’t know, the presidency? FUCK YOU!

So in summary, these firefighters are christian crybabies who have been convinced, through right wing talk radio, that their precious way of life is under attack from muslims and non-right wing christians in general. They had 2 options, participate in the parade or face disciplinary actions. If they have such strong convictions why not choose discipline?

I would feel the same way if the firemen were firewomen. If someone is faced with something they believe is wrong or discipline; the only thing to do is stick by your convictions and deal with the consequences. The language of the document is so belittling and dismissive it’s obvious that this is not so much a case of sexual harassment as homophobia. The only problem seems to be that these admirers were gay men and not women. I have a sneaking suspicion that if this was a generic parade and drunk women were doing and saying the same things, there would be no problem. Their egos would have been stoked and it would have been the end of it.

I’m not trying to say that sexual harassment is ok. All I’m saying is that these men had an option not to attend, granted it was a hard choice to make. They were not subject to ongoing, workplace sexual harassment that was meant to demean and leave them powerless. Damn Brittanie, why you gotta rile me?

PS sorry my blockquotes look so wonky, I had no patience to mess with them. There is supposed to be a large gif of quotation marks so that your eye will be like, Oh this is a quote. But now the quotes are just overshadowed by the bullet points. Whatever. Why am I bringing your attention to this?

[tags]San Diego, Gay pride, firemen, lawsuit[/tags]

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