no sex no drugs no rock and roll

Did you know the nazi regime was about to obliterate Paris and the only reason they didn’t was because some general refused to? Man, the shit NPR will teach you.

I have a bunch of things to post but I am drunk and lazy. Let’s just see where this takes us, k?

The cashier at Trader Joe’s downtown totally wants my business. TBU and I were there together and Mr. Joe was all up in my grill making his boner obvious. Later, I was all like, That dude was all over my nuts. And TBU was all like, He was being weird, is that what that was?

I’m not going to pretend that this post was a continuous process. I just got back from googling images of Brandon Flowers. Damn, Brandon why you gotta be so sexy and mormon? Making me feel all weird and shit. At’s ok, we can still hook up maybe once a week. The hearts already taken but the lovin’s still sweet. It’s up to you, boo.

You know how they always give the Olsen twins shit for having a terrible sense of style? I dunno but if I were a rich elf I would totally dress like that. I love over sized sunglasses. I love ridiculous layers and ridiculousness in general. Oh wait, maybe I’m an elf. Maybe I’m rich. Lemme go check. Maybe I’m homeless. It’s all up in the air right now.

I don’t think TBU reads this anymore so I feel safe in saying that when he leaves the bathroom sink wet I use his towel to clean it up. There. It makes a little bit of the anger go away.

They’re closing the bar and they want us to leave. The Millionizer is all woohoo and woohoo-ooo.

God it’s taken me like an hour do to this. If nothing else, I am determined.

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