Couldn’t nothing be more easy

Ok you guys. I just finished my super intense wintersession class that almost killed me and certainly removed about 6 months of my life but I got an A so I’m rad and I’m kinda feeling like it was all worth it, because when it all comes down to it I am a major nerd who gets off on the patriarchal education system and thrives on praise and meaningless signifiers of intelligence. I only needed 69% on the final to get an A. What whaa?

Now I have a week break to post meaningless run-on sentences for your ambivalent enjoyment. If ambivalence can even be called enjoyment. Whatever.

Sir Chinko is changing internet locations, now his snobbish foodie-isms, along with the city living rants of an insane Chinese man can be found at HerraChinky.blogspot.com. Sexy. If Asians can even be called sexy. Fucking weird Asian fetishists. Also, I was looking at what people wrote him on Facebook and I took the advice of one of the wall writers and Yahoo image searched, “angry white man,” and that’s all I’m gonna say. And if that weren’t enough, Sir Chinko shares my love of Skype. Who doesn’t like hearing their computer ring with pleasantness? Nobody but cranky grandmas that’s who. And them bitches don’t even have computers so no one cares. Skype=love.

Wait, this is a blog about me and my snarkiness, laziness, supreme being-ness, why am I talking about someone else’s blog? I guess that’s about as interesting as I get. I ate a lot of chips today, I’m feeling the carb guilt.

Things that have changed since my last post

1. I have committed myself to hardcore vegetarianism/lazy veganism
2. Cheese digesting into opiates in the digestive tract=confirmed
3. The cats now get a completely raw meat diet
4. I’ve stopped saying the eff word, I haven’t stopped typing it though

Did I ever tell you guys how I’m an internet minister? Oh yeah, it’s a scene man. X said that if (when?) she and snake get married I can officiate. Uh oh, X I’ve told the internets, you’re legally bound to honor a random comment you made while pass out drunk.

Apparently, I’m obsessed with my far away friends tonight. Oh! You know how when you’re friends with someone and then they do one too many dick ass things and then you are just totally over their jank ass? Well, I’ve got room on my friends list. Well I had room on my friends list. I had this friend, who also got me my job. And I was like cool, now I have a job. But these days he’s too fucking cool for school. It’s like fucking high school up in there. He completely ignores me when I’m around, he’ll talk to the people I’m talking to but he’ll go out of his way to avoid eye contact and other shit. At first I was bothered and I whined to a coworker and she had the nerve to say it wasn’t all about me. And I was like, where have you been? Of course it is! But no, she was right. I still took it real personal like. So I dropped him like a used condom, with my head turned and washed my hands after. He’s a fairly internationally well known DJ and spells things like “beatz” he also has people calling him “rude boy.” Is this 1989 East LA? Do you have a teardrop tattoo for every rival gang member you’ve murdered? No? Well then stop acting like it, bitch.

I’m like Jerry Seinfeld and can only handle so many friends at a time otherwise I get overwhelmed with worship. But it all worked out in the end because I have a new friend now and she’s awesome. But she’s moving to Portland in June so there will, once again, be room room in my platonic heart for you. Just don’t try to hug me in the first few months of our relationship. We’ll build up to that, maybe.

The Millionizer wants us all to put that guitar down and fuck Matt Damon

PS Seriously, has Matt Damon looked hotter since 1997? I think not, mmm.

[tags]Matt Damon, dubstep, work[/tags]