The Millionizer

I am all amped up about TBU’s HUGE interview that is happening as I type. I am so pumped I don’t know what to do with myself. When that happens I just eat. And once you binge you must purge. Some light-hearted bulimia joking for you there. I am not bulimic. You would look at me and think, That girl is the worst bulimic there ever was, I tell you. I get to step one then I’m over it. Maybe I’m half bulimic? I definitely have the guilt about food issues. It’s a crazed internal dialogue in there. It’s all self chastisement and wondering what will taste good together. Fortunately I only had one pita pocket left. Other wise that tub of hummus would be so dead right now. I can’t say the soy ice cream was so lucky.

I’m thinking about having TBU’s last Anchor Steam, which, BTW are vegan. But I should think about this thing called self-control.

I’m going to be in San Diego next weekend for my god-sisters baby shower. Does god-sister make sense? My mom is her sisters god-mother. Which means, as an only child, I actually have 3 sisters in the eyes of god. She is only 22. But she may as well be 35 because she’s Mexican and making it this long without children is a fucking miracle. I bought a bunch of really cute baby clothes from the Goodwill. I’m screen-printing things like genius, messy monkey and girl on them. Which I maintain is a totally awesome gift even though my mom freaked out and said getting someone baby clothes from the Goodwill for her baby shower is tacky. My reasoning is that the baby is only going to be wearing these things for like 3 months max and baby momma is going to be fucking grateful that someone got her anything when everything is dirty with nasty baby fluids. My mom said, Whatever, and HUNG UP THE PHONE. We are a tempestuous family, yet loving. She called me back three seconds later and asked if she was dramatic enough to convey how tacky Goodwill gifts are. I said, No.

Whilst in Tijuana proper, I am also getting a retainer made. I lost mine the day after I started college. Six years later, my front teeth are “scissoring” and to save myself the social embarrassment of imperfect teeth I am getting a new retainer. It’s going to be strange having metal in my mouth again. Sexy, but strange.

Well then.