Oh jeez, y’all

I know I already linked to him once today but I can’t embed it from youtube and this is a way better version. I fucking love this song and the video makes it SO much better. Is it wrong that I totally get it? It’s like Fiona Apple “Criminal” with Smashing Pumpkins “1979″ with my own thoughts on awesomeness. Can I please be Lady Gaga?

I bought a Father’s day card for my dad today. It’s kind of tough because I have to find one that isn’t all like, “Dad, you taught me everything I know and you are the best dad ever and thank you for being there whenever I needed you,” but instead is like, “Hey, you’re my dad and I got you this card.” And I found one. On the front it says, “Dad, I bought you a card for Father’s Day.” Inside it says, “And this is the inside!” It’s perfectly non-committal while still acknowledging the sperm deposit he made just over 25 years ago.

I’m not trying to paint my dad in a poor light. It wasn’t really his fault he wasn’t around. My mom moved me 500 miles away when I was 4. He sent me plenty of money right up to my college graduation but he wasn’t like a father, father. He was like this dude who called on holidays and took me out every once in a while. He was also the dude Ms. A asked me about during high school graduation. “Millz, who’s that guy sitting next to your mom? Is he ok?” “Yeah, that’s my dad. He doesn’t give a shit if this is Southern California and it’s June he’s not taking that Raider’s jacket off.” And he didn’t, and he was bright red and sweating balls. At that time, and for most of my memories, he had a huge ZZ Top creepy man’s beard, which made my very pretty SoCal friends make a WTF face. It’s ok though because I permanently have a WTF face on. My life is all about the WTF face.

I’m pretty sure he was wearing the very same Raider’s jacket for my college graduation. And also narrowly escaping serious heat stroke.

The Millionizer just ate at her favorite restaurant and feels like heaven on the inside.