Epilation: A fetishy way to remove hair

A while back I mentioned I got an epilator and immediately hid under my bed* after using it. I had red bumps for 3 days. Follicles bled.** But I reserved total judgement until I had time to lose enough brain cells to numb the pain.

That time has come ladies, and drag queens. If it didn’t hurt so fucking bad I might actually love my epilator. But I really, really like it. There is a caveat you might need to know before thinking you too, can over come the pain and live a life of epilation: I don’t mind pain. I don’t relish it but I kind of look forward to it. Enjoy it even? I like the way my body responds and the experience of feeling something.*** But not in a weird way (that might be denial). Is there a not sick way of enjoying pain?

Por Ejemplo:

I’ve had several surgeries and never took my pain medication. I liked the intensity of my body healing itself. The discomfort changed and contorted until one day I’d wake up and realize that I was fine. Also, I’d rather take prescription pills recreationally so their intended use would be more of a waste than anything.

When I got my nose pierced I was kinda bummed when it stopped hurting. Suddenly I didn’t have a physical manifestation of my chronic mental discomposure. All I had was this stud that people kept mentioning. Same with my tattoo. That one was worse though because I really had to leave it alone when all I wanted to do was rip my skin off. Slapping is no substitute for clawing.

But yes, the epilator. I’m not going to lie. It fucking hurts. It gets a little easier but not by much. From my perspective, it’s worth it. The best way to use it is in combination with a razor. The epilator is an engineering feat, but not perfect. Sometimes you’re left with patches of stubble where clamps just broke the hair instead of pulling it out. That’s what the razor’s for. Overall though, hair will grow back slower and much sparser. Even though I had some seriously long hair, it was so thin no one would notice. Unless they were going to be climbing on top of me later. And the only person who gets to do that has seen worse. Do it after a shower and put some lotion on after.

*What a cliche this under the bed business is. I have never been able to do anything under any of my beds. They’ve all been crammed with shit I never use.

**You would think discoloration and blood would have been my final judgement. But no.

***God, the need to feel something! Fucking anything. I spent so much time in my adolescence convincing everyone that I did not give a shit that I finally convinced myself. I’m still getting over it 7 years later.

The Millionizer

[NOTE: Sir Chinko has brought it to my attention that I did not specify where I use the epilator. So far, only my legs. I tried my armpit once and cried I also tried the bikini area and it was less painfull but the follicles are more prone to bleeding. Plus, that shit hurts more. As far as experiencing pain, it's more like my heart racing and my skin tingling. Not like getting wet from it. Sheesh. I'm not denying that the whole thing has a "cutter" aspect to it though.]