We’re so fucked up. You and me.

I watched Pot Psychology today and there was a question about what music Slut Machine Tracie, and I guess Rich, lost their virginity to. Whenever I watch Pot Psychology I think about how I would answer the questions. I don’t remember the exact song I lost my virginity to but I do have a very distinct memory of having sex, early on in my career, to the Counting Crows. It was in my dorm room and I remember thinking how strange it was that I was getting it on to a song I listened to when I was 10. The light from my computer screen lit us up as Winamp played Adam Duritz’s weepy warble and I moaned my new moans. I should download some old school Counting Crows. I don’t care what anyone says, August and Everything After is awesome and Kate Moss is still hot.

A few years ago, Sir Chinko and I went to a Dashboard concert in San Francisco while TBU met his dad in Berkeley. When we met back up TBU was telling us about this cool guy he met in the bar of his dads hotel. They talked about the DJ and music and just shot the shit, he ended the story by saying that the guy looked exactly like Adam Duritz. Sir Chinko and I looked at each other as our jaws hit the floor of Pepe, the burgundy early 90′s Volvo. I couldn’t even catch my breath as Sir yelled, That WAS Adam Duritz! It was football season or whatever and Adam is known for bumming around Telegraph and watching the game. I wasn’t 21 at the time and I felt such an intense jealousy that TBU got to just hang out with Adam Duritz, even though I wouldn’t even have been granted entrance to the venue. I mean, C’MON! I was seriously a fucking fan, and TBU, the guy who made fun of me for it, got to make friends with the lead singer. Plz. I don’t know where I’m going with this.

I know! What a liar I am. I said that you should expect a new post soon and here we are like 3 weeks later. First off, I have been busy. And that’s not even a lie your friend from high school tells you. It’s the truth. My application to UCSF is due in less than two weeks, I’m working full time and I’m in school, so you know, shit like blogging gets sidetracked. But that’s ok! Because now that I’m drunk off wine and good memories I can do it. I’m working on my post about Canadia but there have been some technical difficulties I wasn’t prepared for, like the fact that I’m turning Japanese. That’s not the real technical difficulty but there are pictures where I question my paternal DNA.

Remember when I had that terrible vag visit? I didn’t mention that my doctor also asked me if I was half Japanese, which is funny because I hadn’t been asked that in almost a year. When my legs are spread and there is KY without TBU involved is the worst possible moment to ask me if I am half Japanese because I don’t want to be your history teacher while your fingers are simultaneously in my vaginal canal and my colon. She must’ve felt my rectum clamp down with frustration while I explained my genetic makeup. After all was said and done she said, “Oh you just look so exotic I thought you might be Asian,” while she threw her non-latex gloves in the trash. Seriously lady, you deal with the public in a very private way.

My point, my point. Well fuck it, I don’t have a point. I’ve spent the last six weeks trying to have point in two essays to UCSF, I am too tired and I have to be up too early to make a coherent post. But I do have to say I’ve missed you. I’ve missed your funny emails and encouraging comments. I really did sign in with an idea in mind but then some fleeting drunken thought while listening to Portishead took over and here we are.

The class I TA for in 6 hours has a quiz, so I made them delicious vegan oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Except when I tell them I’m going to say, delicious oatmeal chocolate chip cookies because people get all weirded out when they hear vegan. Seriously folks, I’m not even vegan and they are my favorite. You don’t have to have animal rage, fear and grief in your food to make it tasty. Oh my god I sound like vegan propaganda, but it’s sooo true!

The Millionizer is on Virginia and La Loma where I got friends who care for me