Two years ago I could not fathom a time in my life where sleeping until 9 am would be a luxury. Did you hear? Oh, I’m sorry I was under the impression everyone had heard. 9 am is the new 1 in the afternoon.

I am kinda over my job, like the day to day workings of it. What I am not over is their extremely lax attitude on taking days off and how they pay for all of my health insurance. So I’m a little torn. Should I put up with annoying clients who want to talk about the finer point of eggnog for 20 minutes because I can decide to take work off tomorrow and not be made to feel shitty about it? Or should I find a job (if I am so lucky in this climate) that is less annoying while I am doing it but isn’t so chill in other respects? I dunno. I’m leaning towards just not being a dork and getting over myself and realizing that I have it pretty good.

Also, internet, I need more advice. We have a new upstairs neighbor, they’re not as insane as our last one but we’re convinced they’re adding a second story to their apartment or that they have a home business that involves hammers and banging on their floor. Whatever the case, that’s not what I need help on. The thing is that I have a lovely garden going. It’s quite fabulous really and I have to work at it because I am not one of those people who just brings a plant home and knows what to do with it. Our upstairs neighbor lady also has a lovely garden going and she works on it too, every fucking day. The problem with this is that she pours water into her plants which then create an evil high pressure waterfall onto my delicate, innocent plants below. Is it too much to ask her to get a saucer underneath her plants? Is this not the most curmudgeonly old lady blog post ever? What have I become?

The Millionizer wants to get drunk and reminisce about when she used to be cool, she has pictures to prove it