Holiday cheer

Hello, hello.

I just have not been able to be bothered to blog lately.

That sentence had a lot of bubbly b’s in it but I’m too lazy to figure out another way to say it. X so graciously asked me to read over her grad school application essays. One for Berkeley and one for Harvard. I was kind of like, “Me? Really?” Actually, I was exactly like that. I mean this woman has an English degree from Berkeley (With HONORS!) and a master’s degree. I just skated by UC Santa Cruz with a 3.0 GPA in a film major. Not to say college or your GPA in college determines your lingual aptitude or anything but X knows her way around a few words. So anyway, I was reading one of her essays and she mentioned doing two things twice in two years. And instead of having any constructive commentary, my notes said, “That sentence has a lot of twos in it.” I tried rearranging and whatnot but alas, The Millionizer could not make it work. Ok on to more pointless anectdotalism.

Last Sunday was my office Christmas, oh excuse me, holiday party* and we all immediately got shitfaced and talked about wildly inapropriate things to make each other’s guests feel as uncomfortable as we could. When your brother’s co-worker asks you about the first time you had sex and the whole back story and simply will not drop the subject even after you’ve made it clear you don’t want to elaborate, you have to wonder what the heck is up with my place of employment. But really, it’s fun I swear.

* I don’t know why I got all snarky back there. To be fair, it’s not really snark it’s how I talk, I’m all, “Merry Christmas! Oh, err, Happy Holidays!” all the time.

Last night was TBU’s office holiday party. Since he works in San Jose, the party was in San Jose. TBU Sr. got wind of this and offered to get us a room at the hotel because we drink alcohol to aid in the unbearable awkwardness of social interaction.

TBU’s co-workers are not from the same cloth as my own. It was all shmoozy and desperately trying to be elegant. Which was awesome because the only shoes I remembered to pack were black flip-flops with pink skulls. Don’t think I didn’t notice those glances to the floor and back up you turds. I’m fairly certain the be-skulled flip-flops and my obvious foot tattoo were duly noted and filed appropriately. If it weren’t for the sympathetic waiter with the generous pours and knowing glances it would have been a total fail.

As soon as the first couple left everyone lept** from their seats, grateful for the social cue to go the hell home. The Teebs and I rented Waitress from the concierge, he fell asleep and I got to enjoy the movie over the soft (read: soft like nails on a chalkboard) sounds of Downtown San Jose at night. I can’t say it was all too bad. The bed was extremely comfortable.

**I just spent 30 minutes internet researching lept vs leaped. Apparently I am not insane and they are both words and equally applicable in this situation.

There’s more, just not now. I have some great, disparaging quotes from my mother when she visited for Thanksgiving and possibly some video.

The Millionizer needs a shower