- apparently

What the hell Irish Times? I’m not sure if this publication is more like the Daily Mail or the New York Times, but I don’t think it matters.

Some choice quotes from the mercifully brief article:

Of course there will always be a place in the world of business for exceptional women. Women also have an important role to play in jobs that are too demeaning for men, like teaching.

**and**

Women are twice as likely as men to work in the public sector. They account for two-thirds of the Civil Service and three- quarters of all public employees.

Yet they are barely represented in the useful public services of firefighting and arresting people.

I’m really sorry, World. You caught me Irish Times, I really should just stay home and do – well do what exactly? Just stay home and not bother anyone I guess. It would give me more time to blog.

I got home last night and TBU had delicious homemade sangria waiting for me. He said he wanted to get into the spirit of mardi gras with Spanish stuff or something. I was like booze = mardi gras =perfect. What was even more awesome was that he was preparing breakfast burritos for dinner! My favorite Mexicanish meal! When we were just about to eat he mentioned the Mexican cokes in the fridge. Mexican cokes!? Awesome. Then I asked why all the Mexican/Spanish stuff. And he said because isn’t that where mardi gras comes from? And I said no, it’s French. To which he replied, well that makes sense because it has a French name. Then I asked what mardi gras means in French. And he was like, “Fat Tuesday,” duh.

We clearly need each other.

It’s Ash Wednesday, no more fucking around people.

When it was clear I was rejected from UCSF, I took it really hard. I deleted all the bookmarks for the UCSF MEPN blogs I was reading, I didn’t go to the UCSF applicant forums on allnurses.com. I dismissed the possibility in reapplying and I threw away the letter that told me how to speak to an advisor about my application. I just stopped. I deluded myself into thinking I was over it. Saying I was rejected is stupid, because it wasn’t really a rejection as much as it was a lapse in good decision making on their part. I’m not being sarcastic, I honestly believe the 2009 MEPN program will be lacking without my presence and not in a self-centered way, in a real way. Of course, it will be an amazing experience but I won’t get to add my spice to the mix. All that aside, I didn’t realize how not over it I was until I finally was over it. It is truly their loss, no matter how amazing the people that got accepted are. But it worked out great for me.

When the semester started at my local college a couple weeks ago it became clear how much I love teaching and not just teaching but how much I love science and knowing science and helping completely confused people understand science. Two years ago the thought of being a real life scientist seemed like the farthest possibility, but now I feel legitimate. I walk into the biology department and professors says hello, they ask me how I am, they ask me for help. I love it. I love knowing about human anatomy and physiology. I am grateful for the knowledge. I can read a health report and understand it. I can call bullshit on Jenny McCarthy and her crusade for publicity and the whole antivaccine sham. A side note: don’t be fooled by that woman.

If I had gotten into UCSF maybe I still wouldn’t realize that I want to be a nurse and I want to be a college professor, preferably in a nursing program. I suspect I’ll be a fucking awesome nursing instructor.

I got student reviews back from the last semester I taught and they showed me that my effectiveness was equal to the enjoyment I get from doing it. The second semester I taught an anatomy class I hit my stride, I figured out a way to keep my sense of humor, have fun and still get the respect of someone who knows what they’re talking about. I am either the same age as or much younger than the students and if I were any less confident or any less committed to what I was doing I don’t think I would be as well liked. There have been a few rough patches where 45 year old soccer moms didn’t want to take instruction from a 24 year old. But professors have been extremely supportive and have made it clear to students that they are lucky to have me as a TA. Students have come to my class telling me that their friend told them to take my class because I was the best. Once a shy, older lady who easily fell into the background told me that she went to other labs to make up work and was completely ignored by the TA’s, how unapproachable they were and that she was glad I was there to help her. That’s exactly the kind of nurse and teacher I want to be. The kind who kicks ass and makes everyone feel important, the kind I like knowing. I knew I liked TA-ing as soon as I started doing it two years ago but today when I left the classroom I had a strong sense that this is where I was supposed to be. If I were off to UCSF, I wouldn’t be able to TA this semester and that feels like a tragedy.

It’s a rush being in there with all the evidence and forms of science. I like that people leave with an appreciation for it, that somehow something I said made them grateful for the cadavers instead of fearful. TBU thinks I like it so much because I like knowing everything and I like being in charge and he’s not wrong. That’s not a small part of it. But I like that I’m also really freaking good at it and that I can make other people want to be good at it.

This is not where I expected this to go, I totally forgot what I opened up this post for anyway. I guess I felt it needed to be said. I feel like I should apologize for the length and general lack of entertainment I provided you.

The Millionizer accidentally locked her cat in the bedroom all day