****I just found this gem on my screen, written at 3:02am. I don’t remember writing it****

Sometimes I’m just like, “What’s Zach Galifianakis up to?” And then I check his facebook page. Which, is clearly not personal but I feel like it could be. And so I check it thinking I could possibly, maybe get a glimpse into the glamorous world of Zach G. But it’s a lie, A LIE!

Remember in 2008 when I almost died of stomach acid poisoning? Well all it started at a Zach Galifianakis show. TBU and I both had a Fat Tire and upon our first sip both exclaimed that it tasted weird, but drank away nonetheless. And we continued drinking so that on our way home (home meaning Ms A’s current manlover’s l0vely apartment in Hillcrest above a restaurant that only serves esoteric hunting game) we harassed the scientology center and yelled about racism on billboards for planned communities. I don’t know exactly what caused my stomach lining malfunction but I blame my own need to get drunk and the Fat Tire that filled that need.