OK guys. I’ve been having a time. I’ve spent far too much time hung over and throwing up bile and coffee. It has not been pretty. Or fun. Or at all awesome. I finally got myself on some medication for my extreme anxiety and lack of coping skills. That’s been interesting. I was once on Zoloft quite a while ago. It was fun because I could get drunk really easily but I was also a total dumbass so I stopped taking it. A couple months ago it became quite clear that something had to be done. I told my doctor what was going on and she diagnosed me with severe high functioning anxiety and mild depression. I love that I have a diagnosis including the words high functioning. Because it implies good but not good enough. Like with high functioning retards. I’m so awesome.
What finally made me get some help was an online health survey through TBU’s work. We were bribed to take a survey in exchange for monies. So I did it and answered a bunch of questions and I was like, “Fuck, shit’s going down.” That was the last straw, but there had been months of me perseverating on things I couldn’t change and people’s dumbass decisions I don’t get to make for them. I literally could not stop myself from thinking about all the ways shit was fucked up. So about a month ago I started taking some new medication. I was worried because I didn’t want to become less awesome. I like my biting observations and lack of like for people who are a waste of space on earth. But I also like being able to get things done and sleep soooooo… It was a strategic life move. I’ve noticed that in the last month I’ve had more of a filter. When TBU and I are out I don’t go on about what I don’t like about the people around me, not as much at least. I still think these things, but they don’t come spilling out of my mouth as often. Which begs the question, is it even working if I’m still having these negative thoughts, even though I’m not actually saying anything? It’s all a process and it typically takes between 6 and 8 weeks to see the full effect. I have also noticed that I sleep a lot better these days. TBU says I’m less grumpy. But so far there have been no definitive observations on my more charming qualities.
The Millionizer spent $25 less than her rent on one of her cat’s vet visits today and put her other cat on Prozac yesterday. We are a family of crazy.