TBU’s mom just got married in Tahoe this weekend. We had a cabin right on the beach, it was really stunning. I had a great time. But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about me being a vegetarian.
The thing about eating with a bunch of other people, especially new people, is that I inevitably end up explaining myself. “No, thank you” to a meat dish eventually becomes, “I’m vegetarian” or “I don’t eat meat” on the third try. Sometimes TBU will say it for me, just to get it out already. Oh! you’re a vegetarian? Their eyes get wide with fake enthusiasm. Do you eat chicken? No. Do you eat shrimp? No. Do you eat fish? No. Well, you’re the real thing aren’t you?
Well I wouldn’t be a vegetarian if I ate meat now would I?
There was a barbeque Friday night but I figured there would be plenty of other stuff. Like MC Chris, I prefer the whore derves. Don’t click that link, that song is fucking foul. TBU’s family and his moms, husbands family were all there. Friday night was the first meal we all had together. Everyone got their questions out of the way, and it was fine.
Saturday morning, we had brunch together. It was more like ordering a bunch of sandwiches at Safeway and eating them on the beach. But there are no vegetarian sandwiches. I eat some almonds and some trail mix and look around for things I could make a meal of. There wasn’t really anything unless I wanted a meals worth of juice and chips. And this is where it gets annoying. An uncle suggests I “just take the meat off.” I wasn’t rude but I said, “It doesn’t really work that way.” He smiled and nodded. Sweet TBU asked his mom if there were any vegetarian sandwiches but made the mistake of asking in front of everybody. People were perplexed, “There’s nothing you can eat in there?” I wonder if they would like a whole meal of juice and chips. TBU’s mom solves the problem with, “You can just take the meat off and eat the rest!” I say thanks but that’s not really an option. I know everyone means well but for fuck’s sake, think about it for a second. A new step-brother suggests I eat the veggie sushi in the fridge. Now this was the first viable option. But unfortunately, sushi, especially grocery store sushi, tends to have super glutenous rice which gives me a headache. So it wasn’t actually an option but at least he was on the right track.
By this point I’ve just decided to go get something on my own. It’s not a big deal. I don’t expect to be catered to, even if I wasn’t a vegetarian. But the act of refusing someone’s food doesn’t feel good. I feel like the message I send to other people is, “This food doesn’t meet my high ethical standards. You can eat it, but I will not.” I suspect it makes other people feel bad too, or at least a little awkward. TBU’s mom was genuinely apologetic for not remembering to get me something. It was her wedding celebration and I felt terrible for making her feel that way. I know some people are self conscious eating meat around me. That’s not what I’m all about. I make my decisions for me and don’t expect others to follow. Of course, I would love it if everyone were vegetarian or the world supply of meat was produced by humane practices. But I can only control myself and even that’s a little much.
On the way to get my food, tears welled in my eyes. I don’t really know why. I know I was feeling frustrated and a little embarrassed and maybe a little looked over. After all, I had to wait 2 hours so TBU could do his videography duties. But really, I can’t pinpoint exactly what it was that made me cry. But it was strong and barely subsided by the time we got to the taqueria.
Hours after everyone eats their brunch. And TBU has videotaped the grandkids on the sand. I finally get to eat. This only draws more attention from everyone. I’m sitting there all alone, eating my special meal.
Later that night, after the ceremony we go to the Hyatt’s super classy restaurant for dinner. And here is where I get pissed. The only item on the menu without animal was pasta. FUCKING PASTA. I can make that shit at home. I don’t worry though because this is a classy joint with a real live chef and I’m sure there is something else I can find out about if I just ask the server. I do and she pauses, finally letting out a long, “Weeeell,” followed by, “I guess you can have like a plate of grilled vegetables?” I am just kinda flabbergasted that there is no vegetarian plate that can be made. Even if it was just a bunch of sides like mashed potatoes, grilled vegetables and something else. Like really? I’m used to the obligatory veggie burger at diners and shit. But the fucking Hyatt at Tahoe can’t make anything other than pasta?! I order the pasta before anyone wonders why I’m taking up so much of the servers time.
The pasta comes with a fat chunk of goat cheese on it. I love cheese so I try it. Goat cheese tastes more like goat than cheese. So I moved it to the corner of my plate. A new step brother notices and says, “Oh you don’t eat cheese?” I say I just didn’t like the goat cheese. But I knew what he meant. I may be super sensitive but after the mornings vegetarian sandwich fiasco and the previous night’s dinner, I’m convinced it was a comment on my perceived finicky-ness. Oh how I wish he only knew!
Dinner moves along, the server comes by and yells, “Hows my little vegetarian? Did you get enough to eat?” The table turns to me as I smile and say, “Yes, thank you.” But her comment encompasses the most annoying things people can say to me. “Little” just implies I’m a child going through a phase. Like Lisa Simpson or something. And asking if I got enough to eat shows how uninformed most people are about being a vegetarian. Vegetarians have a plethora of meal options. It is a vast, vast field of yummy options. I swear to god, I never had such tasty food when I was eating meat. A meal without meat is just as filling as one with it. The plate came with at least 2 pounds of pasta. Did she honestly think I wasn’t getting enough to eat? Oh must eat everything in sight to satiate my poor vegetarian stomach! And her delivery made me violent inside.
I always go into a situation like this with the idea that I will somehow be stealth enough so others won’t notice, that I won’t have to explain things or answer any dumb questions. I never try to make people feel bad for eating meat, I don’t know why they need to say shit about me not eating it. I don’t draw their attention to the fucking disgusting conditions their decomposing flesh came from and what it will do to their digestive tract. Meat is their decision and I’m not preaching to anyone. But vegetarianism is a common and well-established diet. I am fucking tired of going into restaurants (it’s not like I go to fucking steakhouses or anything) and having to order the one shitty vegetarian option on the menu. Hey! just because I don’t eat meat doesn’t mean I want imitation meat! Your veggie burgers suck. I also hate having to make a bunch of changes to my order. Can’t we just have a salad entree without animal on it?
Eating at peoples homes is different. People only serve what they eat and believe their guests will enjoy. I can’t expect everyone to eat what I eat.
I decided to become vegetarian in an honest attempt at leading a life that was true to my ideals. Not so I could draw attention to it, make people feel guilty or be an example. I never once thought it would be so trying. It’s a delicate balance I never realized I would be forced to navigate.
My opinions they run amok, sorry for the length.
[tags]Lake Tahoe, vegetarian, vegetarianism, Hyatt[/tags]