The Millionizer tends to millionize excessively. In fact, The Millionizer supports most forms of excess: food, alcohol, black eyeliner (especially black eyeliner).

The Millionizer is: age 23, female. The Millionizer is just trying to make it in this world. The world is not kind to persons in The Millionizers position. Where can she get experience so that she can be hired for more experience? The Millionizer is confused. The Millionizer did not realize that her degree, for which she still owes $15,000, is not very impressive. The Millionizer has learned that everyone has a bachelor’s degree these days. The only way to a life worth living is to get a real degree. Thus, forcing The Millionizer to pursue a graduate degree. The Millionizer is not truly interested in furthering her education as much as she is interested in the wildly fabulous life her education will afford her by way of the over-paid position she will get because of her new, impressive degree. Plus, she doesn’t mind giving her mom the bragging rights.

The Millionizer is proud to come from a prestigious lineage of people whose names start with an article such as: The Edge, The Donald, The President, The Hulk, The Godfather, you can see where this is going.

The Millionizer is an impatient person with little tolerance for those who don’t share her outlook on life, which can change at any time. She expects those around her to know when her opinions, expectations, world views and working theories have changed. The Millionizer becomes frustrated at having to explain her often unpredictable behavior. And although she tries, sometimes she cannot hide her contempt for those who insist on breeding. The Millionizer is sure the species will survive just fine without your DNA. She would be pleased not to deal with your offspring at Costco while you’re off deciding what bulk form of partially hydrogenated oils you would like to raise them on.

The Millionizer apologizes for speaking excessively in the third person, sincerely.

I’m just trying to find my spot in a world that makes me feel awkward. I want to own my skin. I try to love others as much as I love myself. Mostly, I fail, but I keep trying. We can have world peace if everyone would just come to terms with the fact that the world does not revolve around them. I mean, I’m 23 and I’ve been aware of this fact for at least 8 years, ok?